Jokes please (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter sarathy
- Start date
India
Ah great! My first post!
A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time."
The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your dick's bigger
than your brother's".
A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time."
The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your dick's bigger
than your brother's".
Q. Why did the computer cross the road?
A. It was programmed by a chicken!
Hey, nobody said they had to be good jokes, hehe, ;-)
A. It was programmed by a chicken!
Hey, nobody said they had to be good jokes, hehe, ;-)
I have SO many jokes, but most are inappropriate for here, unless people like hearing jokes about fornicating octopuses and such, but here's a semi-decent one ;P
A man walks into a bar with a crocodile. He sits down at the bar and says to the people around him "I have a crocodile. And I have a proposition for you. I will attempt to stick my genitals into the crocodile's mouth. If I can survive the ordeal, you must buy me a drink each!". The crowd around him mumbles and agrees. So he stands up, drops his pants and proceeds to stick his bits into the crocodile's mouth. The crocodile bites down and the crowd gasps. Finally he picks up a bottle and hits the croc over the head and the crocodile releases it's grip. He pulls his pants back up and accepts drinks from the crowd. After the crowd settles down, he stands up and announces again "I will give one thousand dollars to the next person who can do what I just did!". The room goes silent and everyone looks away. Finally a woman steps forward and says "I'll do it.. if you promise not to hit me over the head with the bottle"
har har har :|
A man walks into a bar with a crocodile. He sits down at the bar and says to the people around him "I have a crocodile. And I have a proposition for you. I will attempt to stick my genitals into the crocodile's mouth. If I can survive the ordeal, you must buy me a drink each!". The crowd around him mumbles and agrees. So he stands up, drops his pants and proceeds to stick his bits into the crocodile's mouth. The crocodile bites down and the crowd gasps. Finally he picks up a bottle and hits the croc over the head and the crocodile releases it's grip. He pulls his pants back up and accepts drinks from the crowd. After the crowd settles down, he stands up and announces again "I will give one thousand dollars to the next person who can do what I just did!". The room goes silent and everyone looks away. Finally a woman steps forward and says "I'll do it.. if you promise not to hit me over the head with the bottle"
har har har :|
GREAT FIRST POST Users who are viewing this thread
Similar threads
Apparently Windows hasn't had the codecs to read DVD since about Windows 8 or 10. I've been searching for a DVD playback codec but it requires another player. Is there a way for MP2 to read DVDs?
Apparently Windows hasn't had the codecs to read DVD since about Windows 8 or 10. I've been searching for a DVD playback codec but...
Apparently Windows hasn't had the codecs to read DVD since about Windows 8 or 10. I've been searching for a DVD playback codec but...
That was the correction I made in BasicHome for the 1.35 Prerelease which you adddd to repo ;)
That was the correction I made in BasicHome for the 1.35 Prerelease which you adddd to repo ;)
I'm going bananas here!!
Used MP1 since MP1.10 or so.....an haven't had problems for years!
Am using latest Dune...
Thanks guys. Ok, spent the (whole) weekend on this lol.
First; TVHeadend/Kodi.... Nah. Given up on that - 'non-tech'; its horrible. 'Tech' - a few reasons but mostly that it is buggy. It is actually a real shame as it does have potential and promises a lot (was great to have Kodi on my phone and be able to watch live/recordings...
Thanks guys. Ok, spent the (whole) weekend on this lol.
First; TVHeadend/Kodi.... Nah. Given up on that - 'non-tech'; its...
So, a very long-time MP fan here. Family have used MP (Only MP1 as all addicted to Titan skin) for ever - for my 13yo, thats 100%...
Nevermind, I think. I found them in the forum. I had only checked the main webiste for MP2 plugins.
https://www.team-mediaportal.com/extensions/mp2-plugins
I hope these work: Featured Plugins
Nevermind, I think. I found them in the forum. I had only checked the main webiste for MP2 plugins...
I've been an MP1 user for a long time. I'm interested in switching to MP2. However, I rely heavily on the features provided by...
100% my bad - as expected :)
So, I had disabled the Windows Update service. Not a wise move, until MP all installed and working nicely. The reason it failed is because DotNetFrameworkChecker.cs looks in Registry HKLM SOFTWARE\\Microsoft\\NET Framework Setup\\NDP for v4/v4.0 AND v3.5. W10 has V4.0 but not 3.5. MP installer...
100% my bad - as expected :)
So, I had disabled the Windows Update service. Not a wise move, until MP all installed and working...
Just tried a new Client-only install on a clean Win10 Pro box. Installer doesnt realise .NET 4 Framework already 'installed' (part...